Spark Over Struggle: When Authenticity Becomes the Strategy
There was a time when I did everything the experts said would work.
I followed the marketing advice.
I showed up the way I was told to.
I tried to be visible in ways that were supposed to grow a business.
Facebook Lives.
Blog posts written for algorithms instead of people.
The pressure to dance, perform, and post on platforms that never quite felt like home.
And while I could do those things, they always felt heavy.
That was the struggle.
When Effort Isn’t the Problem
For a long time, I assumed that if something felt hard, it meant I needed to push through.
That’s what we’re taught — especially in business.
If it’s uncomfortable, you’re growing.
If it feels awkward, you’ll get used to it.
If it doesn’t feel natural, it eventually will.
But what I was experiencing wasn’t growth discomfort.
It was the quiet exhaustion of creating from a place that wasn’t actually me.
Where Spark First Appeared
Everything shifted when I stopped asking “What should I be doing?” and started asking “What feels authentically true to me when I create?”
When I began creating from insight, clarity, and lived awareness — rather than strategy — something unexpected happened.
There was energy again.
Charge.
Excitement.
Not hype.
Spark.
Spark showed up when what I shared came from true authenticity — not performance, pressure, or expectation.
Why the Old Way Felt Like Struggle
The old way wasn’t wrong.
It just wasn’t mine.
It was built on:
doing what worked for other people
shaping myself to fit platforms I didn’t love
overriding my own rhythm in the name of growth
I once joked about doing cartwheels on Instagram. I may have landed the cartwheel — but the post didn’t really land.
Because it wasn’t authentic me.
There was no spark.
The In-Between Phase We Rarely Name
Looking back, I can see this shift wasn’t just about content or platforms.
It was about identity.
There’s a name for the space between an old way of being and a new one— it’s sometimes called an identity wobble.
An identity wobble happens when your inner orientation begins to change, but you haven’t fully embodied that change yet.
Old habits still have momentum.
Familiar strategies still reach for the wheel.
The space between who you were and who you’re becoming can feel unsettled or confusing.
That in-between space is often where we see the wobble.
Why Money Makes the Wobble Louder
For me, this wobble showed up most clearly around decisions — especially decisions involving money.
Money amplifies pressure.
It speeds things up.
It pushes urgency.
That’s where I used to slip back into old patterns:
deciding quickly
justifying choices
outsourcing trust
Until I realized I needed a way to pause before acting.
A Pause That Changed Everything
Instead of asking “Can I afford this?”, I began asking:
Does this align with who I’m becoming?
What’s the full cost — financially, energetically, emotionally?
Am I choosing from spark or from struggle?
That pause changed how I made decisions — not just about money, but about how I showed up in my work and my life.
To support that pause, I created a simple clarity tool — not to tell anyone what to choose, but to help people observe how they’re choosing when pressure is present.
It’s called The Aligned Decision Filter, and it’s available here as a free resource.
But back to the spark…
Spark Is the New Way Forward
Spark isn’t loud.
It doesn’t perform.
It doesn’t force visibility.
It comes from resonance.
From truth aligned with timing.
From creating in ways that actually feel like you.
Struggle belonged to the old identity — the one trying to succeed by someone else’s rules.
Spark belongs to the new one.
And if you find yourself wobbling between the two, you’re not doing it wrong.
You’re transitioning.
Choosing With the Weather, Not Against It
When the conditions change, wise movement changes too.
Pushing harder doesn’t create clarity.
Noticing does.
When you stop fighting the moment you’re in, the next step becomes quieter — and far more obvious.
That’s spark over struggle.
And once you feel the difference, it’s hard to unsee.
If you’ve ever felt caught between an old way of operating and a new one that hasn’t fully settled yet, that in-between space has a name—the wobble — and I’ll be exploring it next.
With clarity,
